Hi Everyone!
I really don't even know where to start. Wow. This past 18 months has flown by. It really hasn't even sunk in that this is the last week of my mission. I feel like I just barely got started!
I am so glad that I decided to serve a mission. This has hands down been the best... and hardest... experience of my life. I have never learned so much, I've never cried so hard, I've never laughed for so long. The people here are incredible. They have taught me so much.
If I had to sum up everything that I learned into one word, it would be the Atonement. There is absolutely no way that Chantel could have accomplished what Sister Laser has accomplished, if it had not been for the Lord. I have never been so aware of my weaknesses, and yet I've never felt more confident. The Atonement, the Savior's sacrifice for us, is what enables us to rise above, and become the people that He wants us to be. But what I find absolutely incredible is that the Lord does not see us as our flawed selves as we are right now, He sees beyond that and looks to our potential.
I remember my Mom asking me, "Everyone tells you a mission is going to be hard. What do you think will be hard?" I really didn't have an answer. The things that were the hardest were things that were completely unexpected. It's really not that hard to have doors slammed in your face. It's really not that hard when people Bible bash you and try to tear down your faith, because you know deep down that's NEVER going to change you. When you're built upon a rock, you cannot fall. I just never expected to become so emotionally attached. It is so hard to watch people have an amazing spiritual experience, taste of the goodness of the gospel, and then say no. It's not like my feelings are hurt, even though they are, its that they just have no idea what they are missing out on. They don't know how many blessings they just stared in the face and then said, "no thanks." This is ETERNAL LIFE. This is immortality with our families and Heavenly Father in the most beautiful place in complete joy and bliss FOREVER. Not to mention all the blessings that are in store just around the corner when we keep His commandments. With that perspective, it is so hard to watch people walk away when you have prayed for them daily, studied for them, cried with them and loved them so deeply because you know how much Heavenly Father loves them.
On the flip side, I don't think I can adequately say how AMAZING the blessings are that are available to those that love Him. I can still hear the sound of someone coming out of the waters of baptism clearly in my ears. It is my favorite sound. It is INCREDIBLE to watch these people you meet become these glorious new creatures that you can hardly recognize. The Atonement has never been so apparent as I watch someone go from learning about the gospel to becoming a full and active member of the church. They GLOW. They smile more, everyone around them senses their spirit, and they are beautiful. That is the biggest miracle that I have seen.
I mentioned being built upon a rock. Our rock should be our faith in the Savior, but what keeps us firmly planted on the rock is daily reading the Book of Mormon. I have had the worst days when I haven't had a chance to read the Book of Mormon. I have watched the best people walk away from the gospel, and usually it happened soon after they stopped reading the Book of Mormon. What book has power like that? Absolutely no other book. Period. I know that my faith in the Savior is strengthened every time I have read the Book of Mormon. I just had the chance to finish it this past week, which makes for about 4 or 5 times that I read it on my mission. I have learned something new EVERY TIME. The book doesn't change, but I do, and it is always relevant no matter what my struggles have been. I always find solace, the perfect answer, the motivation, the evidence in the Book of Mormon. Reading the Book of Mormon daily needs to be just as important to us as brushing our teeth daily, and I promise that huge blessings await you as you make it a priority.
As for me? Well, I really hope I've never the same. I mean, I'm still me. I still love Doctor Who, Harry Potter, cats, crocheting, and laughing way too loud. But I feel so much more refined. I have definitely gone through the refiners fire. I've been pulled, stretched, attacked, cut down, bent, and twisted. And now I'm stronger, more flexible, more patient, more enduring, more hardworking. I have come to know myself in a way I never thought possible. And even though I have had to face all my weaknesses with a fine tooth comb and magnifying glass, I think I love myself even more. I know that with the Savior, I can do all things. I love my weaknesses because they bring me closer to my Savior and I have to rely on Him daily for everything. But I know that Heavenly Father has big things in store for me, and I hope I can keep the vision bright in my mind of what He wants me to become.
I'm still becoming what He wants me to be. I'm so far from perfect. But I hope because of my mission I can keep this perspective, because I really want to be with my family forever and have eternal life with my Heavenly Father. And I will continue to learn, hang on tight, mess up and make it right over and over until the perfect day.
I love you all so much. I can't wait to see you soon.
Sister Laser
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