10 Dating Rules for Provo, UT

As a marketing geek, I really enjoy seeing creative uses of social media. One of the most creative ways I've seen social media used is the production of a show called The Mormon Bachelor/Bachelorette. It is a TV series done entirely on YouTube, Blogger, Facebook and Twitter. It is really incredible!

Anyways, I was learning more about the current Mormon Bachelor Kent Tuttle, and I came across his blog. Not that I normally peruse stranger's blogs, but one of his articles caught my eye. "10 Provo Dating Concepts for Men".  What? There's another blogger out there who enjoys blogging about their frustrations with dating in Provo? Hooray! I feel validated in continuing venting about my dating woes.

And while I really enjoyed seeing the guy's perspective of dating in Provo, I would like to add my own set of rules. Dating is way different for girls and guys, so I think girls deserve to know what is expected of them as well.

1. Don't turn anyone down for a first date. You might not be into him, and it might be the best date you ever go on. Or, he might be amazing at first and then the date turns out awful. Either way you learned something. Obviously, if the Spirit prompts you not to go, then don't go, but there is always something to learn from going on a date. Even if it ends up being a funny story you tell your kids someday.

2. If you want a diamond, BE ONE. This was a phrase I learned at EFY a long time ago. Basically, it means be the person you want to marry. You know those corny lists of attributes you want? Go ahead and make that list, but then turn the list back on yourself. Am I humble? Am I temple-worthy? All those great things you want in HIM, be striving to work on and improve within yourself.

3. Be comfortable in your own skin. Be yourself! There is nothing more attractive than someone who knows who they are, and isn't afraid to show everyone. Be confident in yourself and your abilities. Don't be a different person for different people. And if you haven't learned how to yet, please learn how to take a compliment. Don't fish for them, but when someone gives you a sincere compliment be sure to thank them and tell them how wonderful they are for noticing.

4. Be modest, not only in dress but in conversation. Dress like yourself but make sure you aren't distracting from your best feature- your face! And in conversation, it's great to talk about yourself, but don't get too braggy. It makes you sound conceited. It's ok to share your achievements as long as you are humble about them and gracious.

5. Be creative! Dinner and a movie? BORING. There are creative ways of doing dinner and a movie- like turning it into a picnic and having an outdoor movie. Or making dinner, or even making your own movie on a group date. Think outside of the box! You will have more fun getting to know people if you do something out of the ordinary.

6. Be straightforward. Ugh, being rejected sucks. But, rejecting a really wonderful guy can be even harder. Don't chicken out! He deserves to know you aren't that into him, making him guess is going to hurt him even more. If you are having a hard time getting up the courage, you can take a two-step approach: 1st say you need a break or time to think, and 2nd then a week later tell him you don't feel good about it, with SPECIFIC feedback. He needs to know what he could improve on, and give him some reason why it wouldn't work out. Plus, in that week of space, maybe you realize how much you like this guy despite his flaws and are willing to give him another chance.

7. DON'T do the thing where you imagine your life together, your kids names, etc. It's corny, and it almost always sets you up for disappointment. It's ok to imagine how you two would work together in a relationship, but don't go any further than that.

8. Don't move too fast!!! I could always tell what a boy really thought of me by how quickly he made a move. If we are cuddling and holding hands or even kissing on the first date, he doesn't want me for me because he hardly knows me yet! Holding hands is acceptable for the second date, and kissing probably on the third or fourth date. Any sooner than that and you look desperate.

9. On the other hand, don't move too slow! I lost some really great guys because I lacked the courage to tell them how I felt... after 10 dates. No kidding. If he keeps asking you out, he probably likes you and is just waiting for you to give him some validation. So give the poor kid a break! It's is the fifth date and he still hasn't done anything, maybe grab his hand or kiss him on the cheek. Something not too forward but encouraging.

10. Last but not least, BE INTERESTING. Have some hobbies you can talk about, good stories to share. Be active in developing yourself! Also, what I've learned in job interviews is people LOVE it when you get the interviewer to talk about themselves. And isn't dating just like an interview? So be a good listener, ask engaging questions, and be sure that you answer them yourselves or else the conversation can be really one-sided, and that's no fun for you.

Ok, maybe all of these aren't specific to Provo, but they are all applicable.

And, after writing this, I started wondering about this whole Mormon Bachelor thing. I kind of want to be on it. So, why not?

And I just applied! I hope it goes well! Here's the link to my video: Mormon Bachelor Audition- Chantel. Hopefully they like me and I'll be able to meet Kent! Wish me luck!