Feelings

So honestly the last thing I should be doing right now is blogging... I'm about 8 hours away from my departure to San Antonio. I could do this in the car or something, but I had to start this now. My heart is just too full.

First of all, I want to respond to my own post about words. The post was basically saying how frustrated I was because I felt I couldn't adequately express myself. But I came to two important realizations today. First of all, I've had more than a few (which means 3!) people tell me they enjoy reading my blog and say that I express myself well. It totally made my day!

Secondly, I realized that the inadequacy I felt is a reflection of a basic human flaw where most of us can't interpret our own emotions. This is because to us, a problem is a culmination of a million different thoughts, ideas, senses, interpretations and reactions. So it is hard for us to step back and look at the basic emotion underlying our perception of a problem. Usually a good friend or confidant has to step in and tell you what you are feeling and why.

Basically, I sort out my feelings into good, bad, and indifferent. I really don't care what the exact word is for what I'm feeling, I can leave that to the novelists. But that gives you a good start to figuring out what the correct course of action may be. A good friend should always be there to help you sort out what is really going on inside of your head.

And on that note, I have INCREDIBLE friends. Christine and Dan threw me a goodbye party tonight and over 50 people showed up total. I wish I could go into detail about how much that means to me. But I know that I was blessed with some amazing people in my life who have shaped me into who I am. Its amazing to see the transformation I've gone through in the last year for the better.

Is it tacky to bear my testimony now? Whatever, I'm going to do it anyway! I know that I'm going to San Antonio for a reason. I know that is where I'm supposed to be, and I know that Liz is supposed to be my coworker/roommate while we're down there. I think we will get along great together and I'm sure she will have a great impact on my life. I'm so grateful for friends and family who care so much. I wish you knew how much I try to become like you. I look up to you in so many different ways.

I don't need someone to interpret this feeling! It's overwhelmed by love, humbled, and just a dash of adoration. I honestly and sincerely love you all. Thank you for being in my life.