My Mission in Life

In case you haven't heard the news, I have been called on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I will be serving in Atlanta Georgia, speaking English, and entering the MTC on August 14th, at which point this blog will become my mission letter posting blog.

I know this comes as a shock to most people. Heck, it was a huge shock to ME. But I'm sure you are wondering where this decision came from, and why I kept it a huge secret.

I haven't loved my job. It's been challenging, I've learned so much, and yes, there were moments of joy. I was performing really well too, I was the top of my division for over 4 months. But it just wasn't right for me. I couldn't see myself there long term.

So, I started looking into other options, but nothing seemed right. I even had some job interviews that didn't work out for one reason or another. I didn't really know what I wanted out of life, and I had no clue what direction I wanted to go. All I knew is that if I stayed at my current job, I would be living my life on pause, never moving forward.

I was so unhappy, so unsure, so uncertain about my own future. Every other facet in my life had had a logical order. You finish kindergarten, you go to 1st grade. You finish high school, you go to college. You finish college, you get a job. And then what?

These feelings had been creeping over me for about 6 months, but it all came to a boiling point when I went on a date with a friend. He pulled up in front of my house, ready to get out of the car and walk me to my door. Well, I didn't move. I stayed buckled in and started rambling about all of my feelings of uncertainty, unhappiness, and lack of fulfillment. I told him how nothing seemed to make sense. Looking back I feel really bad about it, especially because I didn't feel better afterwards.

But the next day I was going to my good friends baby blessing. (If you don't know what that is, Mormons bless their babies with a name and other assorted blessings in church when they are usually 6 weeks old.) It was a 2 hour drive, so I had planned to just spend some quality time thinking about my issues.

About a half hour into the drive, out of nowhere, a voice in my head said:

"You know what you haven't thought about in a while? A mission."

I still have no clue where that voice came from. The Spirit usually doesn't speak to me in a voice, its usually a feeling. So I entertained the thought of a mission.

And right then and there- it finally all made sense.

My job had prepared me for a mission. I had moved to a new place, knowing no one, doing a job that I wasn't sure I could do. It was hard, physical labor, with a lot of rejection. You had to plan presentations, pour your soul into them, only to have people bail on the meeting entirely. I learned a new language- power tools! I had saved the right amount of money to pay for a mission. And I had figured out some important health issues that might have prevented me from going earlier.

I don't think words can describe the feeling of peace that just washed over me. I was finally happy.

So I called my parents, freaked them out, and went to the baby blessing. And I kid you not- all of the talks were on preparing for a mission. My friend's mom after the meeting said "I kept thinking about you through those talks and I didn't know why." And I knew that Heavenly Father loved me, and this is what He was trying to have me do all along.

It only took a week for me to finish the paperwork, including getting stuck by 10 needles in 2 days. I even got a root canal. (Unrelated side note- floss your teeth!!!!) But I didn't share the news with everyone on the interwebs because I wanted my work to find out from me first. I knew it was the right thing to do.

Six weeks later, I got my call. When I saw that big white envelope, the one I had been dreaming about and simultaneously dreading, I freaked out. All I could see in the mail slot was the Church logo, and everything I was holding fell to the floor. I lunged for the mail, dropped all the mail except for my call, and then I suddenly was on the floor too. Then I was jumping up and down, screaming like there was a murderer loose in my house, and running around like the road runner.

I hadn't been guessing where I would be going because I didn't want to be disappointed. I knew that when I opened my call I would know it would be perfect for me. And it was! I can hardly wait to go to Atlanta, and I am relieved that I don't have to learn another language. Sometimes English is hard enough!

I just wanted to say thank you to the overwhelming support I have gotten from everyone. I was not expecting the level of excitement from my friends and family that I got. Maybe everyone is just really excited to get rid of me for 18 months. But from the bottom of my heart, I really truly appreciate the kind words of encouragement.

So, I quit my job. I'm moving home next month to start preparing and working on myself. And then, in August, an incredible journey will begin. It's going to be hard, it's going to be challenging.

But it is so going to be worth it.