Don't hate the game, hate the player!

I know the saying usually goes, "don't hate the player, hate the game." But I feel like that is a cop out when you put it that way. Why on earth would you ever give up on something because you didn't like one of the people you had to deal with?

What I am talking about is when guys call me and say "girls are stupid" or when I talk to some of my gal pals and we complain how "men are so complicated." Yes, sometimes girls are stupid and yes sometimes men are complicated. But it is truly impossible to figure out men and/or women because we are all DIFFERENT! We can't figure out what men are thinking because not all men are thinking the same thing. What we need to say instead is that I can't figure out what THAT man is thinking and why the heck he is picking some loser-trash-face over ME. That's just an example. :)

Yes, there are some general truths about groups of people that are pretty safe to assume, but we shouldn't spend all of our time trying to categorize people in order to understand them better. You just have to buckle down and understand the individual. It is so important to gather many perspectives on one situation before you can dive in and provide an explanation for why something is happening the way it is. 

And on that note, I want to talk about something that has been bugging me. I was talking to a male friend who felt like men are continually chastised by general authorities at LDS General Conference. There are always a couple "women are incredible" talks but all the talks for men are usually guidance and rebukes. 

So I just want to say that men are awesome. This simple fact has been lost on our generation in the rush to help women feel validated as they enter the previously predominantly-male workforce. Men are capable of doing so many things that women simply can't do. Men have been taken for granted and have been dragged through the mud by the media. There are so many good guys out there who get overshadowed when one guy does something stupid and women swear off all men because of them.

Now that that is understood, there are still some expectations women have for you. We want you to be able to provide for yourself and a future family, just like you want us to be able to cook and clean and have kids for you. We would love it if you have a college education and were driven to accomplish some great goals. We hate it when you are only motivated to beat all the levels of whatever stupid computer game you are currently playing. We want you to have confidence in yourself, but be humble enough to admit your shortcomings and say that you need us. But please at least have the confidence to ask us out and be proud of your accomplishments. 

Oh yeah, and please ask us out on dates. On the phone or in private, NOT in a text or in front of your friends so we feel pressured to say yes. And the definition of a date is the simple 3 P's: planned, paired off, and paid for. By the way, the best dates I have been on have never been expensive, and I've NEVER had a good "dinner and a movie" date. One of the best dates I went on was when we baked and decorated sugar cookies and then took them around to some elderly neighbors. It was so cute because we got to interact with each other while working towards a common goal and even providing service. 

All girls are different, but we have been told to give every guy at least one chance. One of my favorite quotes from the TV show Psych is "treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, and then a person again." Some old-school charm and chivalry will always win us over, whether it be flowers or simply opening the door for us. 

Men, if you only knew how much women look up to you. We look to you for strength and validation. We yearn to get a compliment or a simple thank-you from one of you every day. If you can treat one of us like the princesses we are, we will be yours forever.